Over the years, as I have ministered to church members in various hospitals, one thing has been very apparent -- most of them were not aware of their need to accept the love that God constantly offers to all of us.  They had made a profession of faith in Jesus Christ and joined a church, but they did not know the reality of God's love because they were still plagued by fear in their relationships with both God and man.

Fear threads its way through all of our relationships to one degree or another.   Fear not only affects us physically and emotionally, it hinders the loving relationships that are the keys to abundant life.  If our personal relationships are to work for our good, we need to love others fearlessly - more than that, as we shall see, fearless love is absolutely necessary if we are to have a real personal relationship with our heavenly Father.  What you are about to read offers a fresh approach and some real answers concerning this fearless love and its effect in this life and the life to come.

Love or the lack of it probably occupies more of a man's attention than any single thing in life -- it is a basic need.  It may be love for family, for friends, or for God;  but all of us, to some degree, are both drawn by a desire for it and repelled by a fear of it.  We are either open or closed to loving relationships but all of us instinctively know that we need an answer concerning this great need for love in our lives.  It is what we do about this need that determines the course of our lives and whether we live a life that has meaning.

Why do we have such a need to love and be loved?  It is because God is love and "He has made us in His likeness" (Gen1:26).  We are to have love for God and man growing out of God's love for us.  All of human existence is built around love because God wants to prepare us to live with Him forever.  But this does not take place as long as we just let life happen - living life according to our own ways - guided by our own self-interest.  The Bible calls this sin.  But when we set aside our own ways (repent) and accept forgiveness for our sin, Jesus gives us His kind of life-spiritual life- we are "born again."  But that is only the beginning.   This world is a place that God has placed us in to get to know Him as we receive this forgiveness of sin that was made possible by Jesus' death on the cross.  It is here that He gives us time to develop a loving relationship with Him which will not end with physical death, but will last forever.  If we are going to live life according to God's purpose, we simply must be in relationship with Him and let Him use the time we have in this life to not only make us successful here but to prepare us for life hereafter.  If we are to do this, we must let the human need that we have for love lead us to a greater need - the need for a loving relationship with our heavenly Father.   Let us then look at human relationships and then look at the kind of relationships that God wants for us.

As much as we glamorize and idealize human love, it is not adequate in real life.   To some degree, our self-interest enters in so that our love is always mixed with the fear of being hurt.  You may ask - why does my love have to do with fear?   Well, you can answer that yourself - think of the times your thoughts were dominated by the feeling that someone had treated you unfairly or had not returned the love you offered them or had abused you as a child or any of the life experiences all of us have that wound us emotionally.  Does that not make us fearful of trusting others with our love?  I believe that everyone of us is affected in some way by the hurtful experiences that cause fear and mistrust.  Because of this element of fear, love to some degree, is withheld from everyone we encounter - even those closest to us.  But more damaging than that, love is withheld from God.  If we withhold our love from Him, we cannot grow into that loving relationship that is necessary for us to live with Him forever.  For many years, I withheld love for God without really knowing it.   I knew that Jesus said that the most important commandment is to "love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul and with all thy mind" (Matt 22:37).  But for me, it was as though being a Christian meant that I automatically loved God.  Because I wanted to obey the command to love Him I assume that I die-not realizing that my fear kept me from truly giving myself to Him.  There is a fine line between wanting to love someone and actually giving them our love - that fine line is fear.  I did not realize that my fear was depriving me of the only real solution for my hurting emotions - that solution was a loving relationship with my heavenly Father.

If we are to have abundant life here and in the life to come, we must be through with fear and open ourselves to loving relationships with both God and men.  Think for a minute what a personal or loving relationship actually is.  Is it not simply receiving someone's love and then loving them in return?  That's the way it always begins, whether the relationship is with God or family or friends.  But a relationship does not survive unless both persons continue to give and receive love.   if either person begins to withhold love, the relationship begins to die.   That is why personal relationships in our society are so fragile - one or both persons become fearful of being hurt emotionally and withdraw.   Then feelings are hurt and many times one or both feel rejected.  Then pride rears its ugly head and each one rejects the other simply because they feel they have been rejected.  The anger that comes out of this always leads to an unforgiving attitude.  All of us have faults that need to be forgiven; but, if the other person is angry, he is unwilling to forgive - this makes a loving relationship impossible because forgiveness is a basic ingredient of love.

The failure in relationships that I have been describing may not apply to you directly; but, if you think about it, I think you will agree that all of us are sometimes guilty of unforgiveness - sometimes in subtle ways that hide our failure to forgive.  On the other hand, many say that they have a right to be resentful or unforgiving, not realizing that it is an expression of hate.  We are told again and again in the scripture to forgive but most of us sometimes engage in the morbid self-gratification that we politely call resentment.

Resentment is unforgiveness and, when it continues, it dominates our thinking and becomes a critical attitude which is hostile.  Hostility generally causes a hostile response which causes more anger and fear.  What we are talking about is a vicious cycle that affects all of us to some degree.  It begins with fear and ends with more fear.  It begins with fear of emotional hurt which causes us to reject others which causes anger, resentment (unforgiveness) and a critical attitude.  The cycle ends in more fear because a critical attitude is hostile and we realize the possibility of a hostile response by the  other person.

You may say that you are not fearful and that none of this applies to you, but can you say that you always accept everyone just as they are and forgive everything they say or do that is wrong?  Do you always offer love without reservation?  Can you say you never engage in subtle words or deeds that are really a substitute for genuine love in certain situations?  I think you will agree that all of us get caught up in some part of the cycle of fearful love from time to time - not only with men but also with God.   The real question is: how can we be through with this cycle of fearful love and enter into a cycle of fearless love?

We have already seen some of the ways that fear destroys relationships.  But suppose fear was eliminated - would not each person be willing to accept the other's love and would not each person willingly offer their own love?  I think so - they would be free to love because there would be no fear.  Well that is all very fine, but how can fear be eliminated?  The answer is in the cycle itself.  A cycle is like a ring or a circle; but in motion, it is a process that ends where it begins - it completes itself and becomes a perfect circle or cycle.  Relationships are like that - they are completed or perfected each time each person gives and then receives love - they become perfect in their completion.  The Bible says in 1 John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love, but perfect love cast our fear."  There is the key!  When the cycle is completed or made perfect, fear is cast out - eliminated.  Fear cannot remain in the presence of perfect love.  As each person continues to give and receive love, fear drops away and the relationship begins to grow and mature.  The kind of relationship God wants us to have with Him and with each other comes out of a cycle of fearless love.

Fearless love is not fragile because it is not willing to withdraw.  A person with this kind of love goes on loving even if the other person withdraws and becomes indifferent or hostile.  Jesus said in Luke 6:27 and 28:  "Love your enemies, do good to those that hate you, bless those who curse you and pray for those who abuse you."  This may seem difficult at first, but it shows that God expects us to continue to love no matter what.  Just think of the strength and stability in that kind of love - it does not withdraw - it is fearless love in action.  But when I read those verses, I know that I cannot love like that out of my human resources.  None of us can love fearlessly without a measure of God's love.  It is only when we participate in that cycle of fearless love with our heavenly Father that we can love others whether they are our enemy or just a neighbor.  If we are receiving God's love, we can love Him in return and love others the way He wants us to love them.

We have seen that fear drops away as love is being given and received, but how do we get into this cycle of fearless love?  Most of us need to be loved before we can love - the more fearful we are, the more we need to be reassured by another's love.  But many times we are too fearful to accept another's love when it is offered to us.  It is no wonder that relationships are so fragile in our society - people tend to wait on each other to commit themselves and even when a relationship begins, they tend to depend on the other to keep the cycle going.  But there is a way out of this dilemma.   In ! John 4:19, it says that we can love because God loves us first.  His love is so powerful that it meets the need we have to become a loving people.  Our need is to possess the love of someone that never withdraws - that keeps on loving us no matter what we do.  That is exactly the kind of love God offers us.  God's love can give us the assurance that is necessary to enter into the cycle of fearless love with Him and with our neighbors.  If we receive His love, we willingly complete or perfect that love by loving Him in return.  Then perfect love casts out fear and we are not only able to love God, but we are then able to love our neighbors even if they are not loving us.  Our heavenly Father would not command us to love Him and our neighbor if He were not making it possible.  He makes it possible with His gift of never-ending love - a love that He will never withdraw.  We can hold on to God's love when others are not loving us - His love is an anchor in any relationship.  If others withdraw or become indifferent toward us, we can depend on God's love - it is always there.  When anyone begins to depend on God's love for an anchor, it becomes easier to get to know Him; and when anyone truly knows God, there is a conviction, a personal "knowing," that His infallible love is eternal and will never be withdrawn.  With this conviction, we can love others in a fearless way and we can keep on loving them as long as we are depending on God's love as an anchor.  But that anchor is not available unless we get to know Him and receive His love.

Most of us know about God, but how many of us really know Him as a person?  We surely must know about Him before we can get to know Him, but it is in getting to know Him that we are able to trust Him enough to enter into that cycle of fearless love.  We must know Him in His humility, in His patience, and in His kindness; but most of all, we must know Him in His forgiveness.  As we draw closer, we see the great difference between His sinless nature and our own nature - we become acutely aware of our sin and our need for forgiveness.  Out of this awareness, we can begin to receive God's love by receiving the forgiveness  that He offers us so freely.  The scripture says that "If we confess our sins to Him, He can be depended  on to forgive us and to cleanse us" (1 John 1:9 LB).  Sin is basically living our way instead of God's way - all of us have a continuing need to confess this and receive forgiveness.   God's forgiveness is part of His gift of never-ending love, but we must reach out and receive it -- something offered never becomes a gift until it is received.  If we are to receive God's love, we must begin by receiving His forgiveness because unforgiven sin separates us from Him.  If we don't deliberately receive God's gift of forgiveness, we are still guilty of the sin that separates us and a personal relationship with Him is impossible.  We must deliberately confess all past and present sin - then, day by day, we must confess the sin in our thought life.  Jesus said that evil thoughts proceed out of our hearts and defile us (Matt 15:19-20 RSV).  But when we confess these thoughts.  He forgives us and cleanses us from sin.  If we accept His gift of forgiveness, we have the key to life because we are actively receiving His love.  Then a personal relationship becomes a reality as we return His love.  In the latter part of Luke 7:47, Jesus expresses this as a spiritual principle while forgiving a repentant prostitute.  He said, "He who is forgiven little, loves little."  The corollary to this would be that he who is forgiven much, loves much.  It is really true - the more of God's loving forgiveness we receive, the more we are able to fearlessly give our own love - His loving forgiveness is the key that opens our heart.  That sounds simple enough, but pride makes it difficult to openly and genuinely receive a gift from another person- even God's gift of forgiveness.   Without humility, our pride develops in us a need to be deserving of anything we receive from others.  But if we humble ourselves, we are able to receive this gift from God - the forgiveness of sin.  The scripture says that it is our responsibility to humble ourselves - it says in 1 Peter 5:5&6: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God."   This is sometimes difficult for most of us, but humility becomes easier as we get to know God in His humility - the God of the Universe is a humble person.  It helps me to see the humility of God, and know that it is ridiculous for me, the created, to be proud while the creator, who is so superior, is a humble person.  That helps me to put pride down, and receive this great gift of forgiveness.

When we openly receive God's forgiveness, the burden of sin is lifted and there is a new freedom to fellowship with Him.  Being free from the guilt of sin is such a blessed thing that thankfulness wells up from deep down inside and ignites a desire to give love to the One who sets us free - he who is forgiven much, loves much.  Then with praise and thanksgiving, we begin to return God's love.  By returning His love, we complete it or make it perfect - then fear is eliminated.  When fear is eliminated, we are free to enter into that cycle of fearless love - first with our heavenly Father - then with our neighbor.  When we enter into this fearless love with God, we open the door to a whole new life with Him.  Being in fellowship with Him makes it possible for Him to teach us - to mold us and make us to be like Jesus - to prepare us to live with Him forever.  The problem is that we become more interested in receiving blessings for our physical lives than the spiritual blessings that are in God's plan for all of us.  It is His will that we seek spiritual blessing first - Jesus said, "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matt 6:33 KJV).

Seeking God first is entirely foreign to many of us - our physical needs seem so important.  We become so involved in our physical lives that we not only fail to seek God, we are unaware that He is seeking us.  In Revelation 3:20, our Lord makes this astounding statement:  "I have been standing at the door and I am constantly knocking.  If anyone hears me calling him and opens the door, I will come in and fellowship with him and he with me."  This fellowship, of course, comes in the process of giving love to God and receiving love from Him.  He seeks that for us and for Himself, but it depends upon hearing His knock and His voice as He calls us.

Many of us are so caught up in the affairs of this physical life that we are unable to hear the voice of the One that placed us on this earth.  All of us have a great need to hear God - allowing Him to speak to us through the scripture and by placing His thoughts in our minds - but more than that, we need to hear His "still small voice" calling us.  We need to open the door of our hearts so that we can have that close communication with Him that we call fellowship.  We need communication with Him all through the day - allowing Him to speak to us in as many ways as He chooses and responding to Him as the Holy Spirit enables us to pray - prayer is simply talking to God.  As the Holy Spirit gives us the "very words to pray," the relationship is complete - the door of our heart is open and Jesus comes in to fellowship.   We are hearing God and being heard by Him - that is communication.  This communication with our Lord makes possible the preparation we need to live this life and life hereafter.  If we fearlessly give and receive love in fellowship with God, we will want to love those that He loves - we will want to love our neighbor and ourselves; then through the power of His Holy Spirit, that begins to happen - not with our inadequate human love, but with the love we receive from God.  We become a channel for His Love as His love is "poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit" (Rom. 5:5).   When that happens, we begin to take on the very character of God - we become more and more like Jesus.  It is God's plan that the time we have on this earth be used to become like Him so that we can live with Him forever.  That means that we must not only love God with all of our heart, mind and soul, but we must love our neighbor even as we love ourselves.

It is vital that all of us adopt this plan that God has for our lives.  There are so many that live out their lives not even knowing why they are here.  I hope that is not true of you - I hope that you have accepted the key to life and have fearlessly opened the door of your heart to our loving Lord - that you fellowship with Him to the degree that you know that peace that "passes all understanding" and that you have the calm assurance that God, is truly preparing you for eternal life with Him.  If that is not true of you, it can be - our Lord is constantly knocking on the door of your heart.   he is always right there seeking us out because He created us for fellowship.   All through the scripture, it is evident that He earnestly desires for us to enter into loving fellowship with Him.  There is a grand old hymn that talks about this - it says:

My prayer is that you will not stop when you make a profession of faith and become a church member - even a church leader - that is only the beginning.  Our Lord has given to us the key to life - His never-ending love.  We must accept it and fearlessly go on to open the door of our hearts and enter into fellowship - a loving relationship with the One tat loves us so.  That is what a Christian is - someone that has fellowship with God- someone that is in the process of receiving all that our loving heavenly Father has for us in this life and the life to come.